Living in a Big City Vs Living in a Small Village

Sometimes I think, living in a small village is better than living in a big city.

In a big city, I can’t go anywhere quickly especially at the weekend. The traffic is crowded, too many cars and too much pollution. The river is full of garbage and it’s dangerous enough in the rainy season.

In a small village, I can enjoy the view and breath fresh air. The citizen is more friendly and more care, even their house are far from each other.

In fact, living in a big city is simpler than living in a small village. The facilities are damn complete. I can find 24/7 fast food or mini market easily.

But, I prefer living in a small city. It’s not too crowded and the facilities as complete as in a big city, as my Jogja :)

Dear Postcard Man

“ I text a postcard, sent to you. Did it go through? Sending all my love to you.

You are the moonlight of my life every night.

Giving all my love to you

My beating heart belongs to you.

I walked for miles till I found you. I’m here to honor you.

If I lose everything in the fire, I’m sending all my love to you”

(Last Night on Earth – Green Day)

He gave me that song, I made it for him

Me and You: Just Us Two

Do you remember I wrote "dealing with the past" in my last post? Yes, I was definitely not. I pushed myself to love someone else. I said that doesn't mean I didn't like him. I just tried to be realistic and accept that God has probably not sent "The-One-That-I-Want-Desperately" to me. It felt hurt every time I realize he found (I though) a love. Sometimes I checked his wall just to know how he was. Yes.. No.. Okay.. Yes, Okay I checked his wall every time I log in my Facebook. And yes, he was FINE. That was an evidence that he was happy with his girl. Then, I talked to myself “It’s time to move on. I’m a firework. I’m glowing and I always get what I want to”, and I cried all night long and gone out of control 5 minutes later.

Girls! -_-“

I spent hardly a thousand days just to accept that “he’s not that into me”. I hate brokenhearted, everybody does I guess. I just tried to brighten myself up, yet still I had faith that we would meet again, at the right time.

God knows I’m crazy about this guy. I believe in “There’s a faith, there’s a way”. After a long long long “decision making” and a few “wrong time”, I finally met him again. I guess that was the “right-time” to us. 3 years waiting for someone is damn hard?

At the moment, I felt like I’d say “YES” for every question he asked :D and less than  a week, I made “romantic-relationship” with him. Today, it’s almost been 3 months, and I’m still wondering. I can’t believe what’s happening now.

I though that it was just an obsession and I’d lost my feels when I make romantic relationship with him. Look! 3 months and I still feel the fire, I guess it’s a good sign. Even though I don’t know what exactly happen to the next, but the point is I’m enjoying this relationship. One of my dream comes true, why should I worry?

I believe when you love someone and accept him the way he is, all of fear and doubt suddenly goes away somehow, especially if she/he is your close friend. Lucky me! I don’t need to fake, we’re close friend and we’ve known each other for so long. He’s the guy who would accept me whether good or bad, and so would I.

If you found someone who “click” with, you’ll understand what’s it all about.

PS: Do not check someone-you-like’s wall (if he’s taken) or you will crying all night long

Sing For The Past

I’m going to flash back tonight, about 5 month ago. I want to share this, so you didn’t make a mistake like I did.

I started work as a cook on January. I told that I love cooking, didn’t? I love that job so much. It reminds me of the games I used to played when I was teen (such as Dinner Dash, Cooking Mama, and the other cooking game) :D. I enjoyed my work, but there's always something left to learn, isn't it? And I left all my social life. It wasn't feel hard, because I had The-Dream-Job. But, in the second months, my "homework" didn't as hard as the first time (When I do what I love to, I became fast-learner accidentally) and I started to recovered my relationship with the others, especially my romantic relationship.

At that moment, I always felt tired every time I finished my work (my job wasted much energy) and I couldn't pretend my romantic relationship was okay. And, I broke up with "Looked-Like-Mr.Right" at the end of February. There was only a reason why I left him. He putted our relationship in the complicated situation. I tried to make it simple, easier, but still on the line and I asked him to slow down, but he didn’t get it. He said that “I'm ambitious” (in a bad way). Yeah, I agree that too much of anything isn't good, but in other case, people should be ambitious to reach their goals. Life is not that simple, isn't it? Life is not just about "what you have" but about "what you want to have" either. Someone said that "All great achievements required time", and according to my experience "time doesn't wait for anyone".

I admit that in the past I've been a 24-years-old realistic woman. But, I thought that wasn't enough. I need much much much more than that to make a relationship works, and the important thing to do is dealing with the past. I thought that I moved on but I didn’t. And look, my relationship has been messed. There was only one thing to do to be happier, which is forgive myself so I could accept myself the way I am and realize that everybody have bad memories in the past. The process has always been an unpredictable and unlimited. It's depend on you. Don't waste your time with those "unimportant things but seriously annoy". Just chase your dream and believe that "Love waits patiently". 

Live once, be happy :)

Family and Friend: Who's The Best?

Family is the closest environment to us and friend is the closer one, however the way they treated us. Family member love each other in their own way, with love or hate. But surely there's a love even if it's only a little. Talk about family is not that easy, especially for people with childhood bad memories. There are two possibilities if those people become a parent, they will be better parent or they will be worse just like theirs.

I think being a parent is hard work. As a parent, you are also a role model, note that. getting your children to listen yo you in a good way. Let your children know that you love and respect them and their work. Just treat your children as well as you treat yourself. Never ever hit your children! That won't works! Your children's behavior depends on how you treated your children. Be a better parent, if you have children. If you don't have one, think hard before you do. My advice is "don't ever think to have children if you can't take care of yourself".

Family will never leave you, so does friend (just a good friend). Family should be a place you run away to, but ironically some children run away from their families. So, friends become the new family. What do you do if your friends are worse than your family? Where would you run away to? Yeah, the fact is you make your own happiness. So, don't depend on anyone. I realized that i should not have high expectations of anyone, especially a friend. I have some bad memories of that. I think friendship is a supported relationship, but only a few friends does. There are two of negative types of friend that seriously annoy, judgemental and underestimate. I have one, unfortunately. And I don't know how to deal with my judgmental friend? But I still have faith that what goes around comes back around. Whatever you do in this life to other people, whether it is good or bad, the same will return to you.

Hello! My name is Rena

Hello! My name is Rena. I was born in a small family with unique-parenting-type. I don't know how to describe it. Just unique. I'll tell you more about my family, but later. Today I'll just talk about myself.

I am a loving, caring, supportive, dependable, mood-swing, open-minded, extremely sensitive, paranoid type, over-self-blaming and tend to not think before speak (so don't take it personally).

Here's what I love about life. The first and the best is Art, especially sketch and music. I love anything natural and sketch is looking more real, and draw sketch while listening music is a perfect combination. That's why I love colours either, yeah even if I never colouring my sketch. Colours have their own characters. If you mix two of them, you will find a new one which is have a different character. Just like me, you and any other human. We all have characters. Sometimes we "show all", "show some-hide some" and sometimes we "hide all". Personally I prefer to be "show-all". I love to be honest about anything but sometime there are uncomfortable situations that push me to be "show some-hide some" even "hide-all". Sometimes it feels hard but sometimes it feels fun instead.

I love animals. They're awesome. If I were an animal, I'd be a crab. It looks hard on the outside but soft and tender on the inside. What a shame!

I love cooking, especially baking and grilling. If "you are what you cook" then I am a "well-done grilled tenderloin". I start to learn cooking because besides it will save my money, it also can reduce stress and accidentally-bad-mood. I'm a mood-swing type, so I should find a way to handle it. Yeah, there's only a few people will understand me and my accidentally-bad-mood. I found a way to control myself at cooking.

That's a few about me, and you'll know me more from other articles.